I've been going at a fast pace, looking at shining lights and trying to stay silly and frilly and nilly. It has worked to a certain exent, but I think my train just derailed. I'm leaving on Sunday for Omaha, and the enormity of this situation has started to sink in.
We got some bad news on Tuesday. The results of my mom's latest CT scan show that she actually has a more aggressive and crappy cancer than originally thought. Apparently the chemo did nothing but slow down the slower cancer and make room for the faster one. Basically the doctor said "Er...it's a good thing you're going for this operation." She's got new growth of those nasties on her liver and just all around. They'll be removing a lot of stuff including her spleen and gallbladder. It always amazes me that humans can live without some of their organs. She'll have a feeding tube for at least three months. Anyway, the doctor said that the very soonest she'd be leaving Omaha would be six weeks, and that's with no complications. My dad is absolutely freaking out and I have to stay with him in a hotel room for weeks. Read that sentence again and you'll agree...
I am going into the lion's den.
I apologize ahead of time for the direction this blog might take in the next month or so. There's probably going to be a lot of cancer/psycho talk. I want to take a lot of pictures along the way, so please tell me if I've crossed some gross-out line. I promise not to be too much of a drag, though. I'm relying on levity to get me through this, which I've only recently found is a more useful tool than wallowing.
Ok, and yeah, Tifanie once again proves she is my psychic twin, cuz I fully have been planning to find some branches to hang, making it all foresty and cool. Photographer Mimi Ko (she's going to slap me) is welcome to use the space at any time, if green walls are ever called for, although they have those same earthquakesy cracks in them that we've come to know so well. My sweet Shawn asks what has become of the stars. It's a good question. Maybe we should ask the Little Prince, as he's the one who roped them and flew away.
And the Kickass Friend of the Year Award goes to a certain reporter at Forbes who sent me a certain item completely out of the blue because he stumbled on to a certain wish list that I don't think I'd told anyone about, and did it completely just to be nice and because he's always making me smarter. I love to look at wish lists cause how else would you find out that smart, dignified people want things like this?
Don't you make fun of me Miss Mario Kart! Pro wrestling is very intellectual. I'm sure Kant liked it. As he once wrote: "Schopenhauer, you hit me with a chair last week and I haven't forgotten! It's a categorical imperitive that me and John Locke are gonna open up a can of whupass on you at Survivor Series!" Maiello | 11.13.03 - 11:07 am