So I was just....HUH? WHAT?

Well, that threw off my train of thought entirely. But then this, so, I don't know.

I don't know. My mom is doing alright. Mainly she is wiped out, and sleeping a lot. The first day wasn't so good, but it slowly progresses. Tumor markers are down, which is great news. Being the Not Sick one has its strangeness, too. I feel boorish sometimes, as we start these wild conversations that I know really ought to be held off for a time when she isn't in this fragile state. I don't seem to have any propriety. I don't entirely know what to do, nor how to behave. I'm just trying to help as best as I can. I've been cooking. Making sure pills get taken. Quelling storms. Et cetera. I don't pretend that these things couldn't get done without me, but it somehow feels good to do them. This thing for me, emotionally, lives in peaks and valleys. Currently I am in a peak, feeling quite outside my own body, just watching and doing and being useful and such. It might also be characterized as my robot mode. Robot mode can be useful in these situations but I don't recommend it for long intervals, lest one starts forgetting how to feel.

There might be a small family party on Saturday night for my birthday, which is Sunday (I'm leaving that morning). I think I'm to make an angel food cake.

1 Comments:

Happy Birthday one day late, dearie. Real missive to follow. Had a very positive vision of your mother yeaterday morning. Almost knocked me over, in fact. I love you, and denounce those who slaughter baboons for their parts. Yech.
tifanie | 09.08.03 - 9:19 am | #

I love you, friend.
A | 09.08.03 - 11:32 am | #

Happy Birthday, yo. Glad things are going alright with your mom right now.

Will be in touch soon.
William F. House | Homepage | 09.08.03 - 3:14 pm | #

By Blogger adriana, at Tuesday, October 02, 2007 9:31:00 PM  

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Thursday, September 04, 2003 : 11:51 AM     1 Comments  




 

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