I just took a break and started wandering around the building I'm working in. Something was strange and I couldn't figure it out. I started having a tightness in my chest and the feeling of an imminent panic attack, for absolutely mysterious reasons. Things looked...I don't know...vaguely familiar. Maybe it started this morning when I had to go through an unparalleled security to park including showing the contents of my glove box. But, it's like I've been here before: an underground parking structure and then an underground level of shops, a large white stone courtyard in the middle of...two very tall silvery towers and some smaller white buildings surrounding it...my god, this place is just like the World Trade Center. The worst thing is, the place feels all but abandoned. There were no people walking around the plaza, and all the shops are either boarded up or just empty. It's like walking through a dream, a dream that I have had on occasion in the last two years.
I just feel so strange.
I have only had one dream of working in Tower 2 since September 11, 2001. In the dream I am holding on to the end of a long line of ticker tape. I realized that if I can find the other end of this tape - the source - then I will know who did it; whatever "it" was. Backtracking, the tape leads me around many corners, in and out of elevators, up and down escalators, through the clinically-white towers' innards until finally arriving in the 10,000,000th sub-basement to a door. I know that behind this door lies the answer, the person, the committee, the reason for it all. I hurridly rush through the door expecting a great confontation and am perplexed by meeting only the silent spewing of more tape from "the machine". Dr. Oze | 08.25.03 - 4:18 pm