Adriana's Adventures in Independent Film,
Part the Second
So, Saturday was Day Two of filming the five minute monster that is The Lil'l Yello Wabbit (their spelling, not mine--also, the rabbit is neither little nor yellow). I arrived fresh and chipper at 9 AM for a day of shooting which I was told would end at 8 PM. That was my first mistake, believing I'd be home in time to get some rest before rehearsal the next morning.
I didn't mention last time that the two directors couldn't seem to get it through their heads how to call a scene. It's really a very simple process. I'll teach it to you right now, and I'll bet you'll remember. The first thing you do, is call "Roll Camera," requesting the DP (Director of Photography) to turn the camera on. The DP then says "Rolling," to indicate that the tape is rolling. The director then calls "Mark It," at which point the person holding the scene marker holds the clapboard to the screen and says "Marker," and then calls the scene and take numbers. Clap. Then it's really simple. The director calls "Action!" Easy, right?
Apparently not so for these dudes. Two full days of shooting, and they still can't get it right.
Director: OK, quiet on the set, and ACTION!
DP: No, the camera isn't rolling yet. You have to call "Roll Camera."
D: Sorry. Rolling!
DP: No, I say Rolling, you say Roll Camera.
D: Oops. Ok.
DP: I am now rolling.
D: Ok, Action!
DP: What about the marker? Which take is this?
D: Oh right. Rolling!
DP: No, YOU say Roll Camera. I say Rolling.
D: Got it. Sorry. ACTION!
DP: Did you want to mark it first?
D: Yes, mark it.
DP: Scene 7, take 16.
DP: No, see...you say Action now.
Adriana: CAN WE PLEASE GET ON WITH IT???
I wish I were kidding when I say that they never ended up getting it right. There are probably several takes of me just shaking my head or biting my lip or rolling my eyes or just flat out laughing before I started my scene. Poor guys. The other thing that kept happening is that they kept calling CUT if the slightest thing went wrong, like I flubbed a line or a bus went by. So then we'd have to start the dang process over again, instead of just keeping the camera going and starting over where we left off. Mind boggling.
Colton (the Kid) was a lot more energized this time. It was probably due to the Psycho Energy Drink that he was brandishing with his Slim Jims when he walked in the door. It was a generic Red Bull. Now, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that a 6 year old shouldn't be on Red Bull. He got so freaky that at one point he started breakdancing on the wooden floor and shaking like he was possessed. The kid is no dunce, either. He's got a bit of the diva in him already. We were doing a scene where I carry him down a hallway, and he stops the shoot to point out that no one could see his face in that shot, and shouldn't we turn him around? He knows what's up.
Come 2:30 in the morning, I really started losing it. My sister was there working on dragon makeup on my face, and she had made my hair into gluey dreadlocks. I was becoming a gorgon, outside and inside. I really felt that the slightest provocation was going to flip my Diva switch. The directors kept asking if there was anything I wanted, like a foot massager or to play some relaxing music. NO, I JUST WANT YOU TO FINISH THE SHOTS. At 2:45, so you really think I want to be hanging out listening to Enya while you argue about whether there's enough green light in the shot?? At this hour, who the heck CARES how the shot is lit?? Just finish it. I started getting weepy from exhaustion. I hadn't slept the night before due to dental work and the fact that my sister's phone kept calling me from some nightclub, and then an earthquake, so I was on a one-way bus to Freakyville. We finally finished the last shot and I actually don't remember driving home.
I think I fell asleep around 6 AM. I woke up and got ready for rehearsal, just crying. You've had that type of tired before, haven't you? Where everything feels tragic and poignant and sad, and everything makes you weep? That's where I am, right now. I gotta join the union.