Well, I had My Personal Exit Interview on Friday and it was hilarious. I stood in front of a green screen and spoke many pearls of wisdom about America and our poor eating habits and the subjugation of women to diets. I also had such wise things to say as "I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST 4 INCHES FROM MY WAIST!!" while holding my sagging pants to my side in a comical fashion. Ah, the paradox of art vs. commerce. Looks like commerce wins, this round.
This weekend, David treated me to my first haunted house experience. I suppose I could have eased into the phenomenon slowly, but we went straight to the top, to the country's "third largest haunted house," the Queen Mary Shipwreck. It was my own fault. I said that the Halloween movies weren't really scaring me. I boasted of being impervious to frights. I was so, so wrong.
Anyone who knows me can tell you, I am startled easily. I can see you standing in a corner, in broad daylight, and if you make a sudden "BOO!" sound at me, I'll jump. I didn't know...I didn't REALIZE that haunted houses are ENTIRELY made up of people jumping out and spooking you. Further, I have a history with the Queen Mary. When I was young I had a ghost encounter on that ship, so as you can imagine, I basically entered my Mecca of Fear. Seven, count them, SEVEN mazes of pure evil, with scary bloody people jumping out of every corner. Strobe lights, corpses, and genuinely haunted boat make for a Night of Insanity. David and I both screamed until we had no voices, and when I got home I collapsed into a dreamless sleep for 11 hours. Now THAT'S entertainment.
Tomorrow: Art Vs. Commerce, Round Two: SUZANNE SOMERS-STYLE!
Appalled, yes, appalled am I that you would even in jest accuse the darling Ms. Sommers of being a part of anything less than the highest in filmed art. Her presence lends the most base drivel the air of sophistication that Merchant-Ivory pretends to with each supposedly literary production.
Perhaps if they stopped importing "Actresses" like Helena Bonham-Carter and paid more attention to AMERICAN talent like Ms. Sommers we would have better vision of her true range.
I will never forgive Franco Zefferelli for not casting Ms. Sommers as Ophelia in Mel Gibson's Hamlet. Now, the time has passed, and it will'a not came again. D | Homepage | 10.30.02 - 4:42 am | #
Geez....that last paragraph pretty much describes my family reunions. William F. House | Homepage | 10.30.02 - 7:25 am | #