indeed, a curious day. woke up incredibly grumpy, not sure why. went to bed that way too. thought sleep would cure it but kept dreaming about death n' stuff. seriously considered not going to work but went anyway, and it's a good thing, as i am actually doing something different today. i'm in Glendale learning a new software interface for the WB asset manager. ok, it's not all that fascinating but at least it's different, and i'm writing here, which means i have internet access and it looks like i'm working.

spent last night and monday night doing open mics with husband unit. it has been quite revelatory. the first thing i noticed is that most people's lyrics suck ass. it is unbelievable how many people use these phrases:
i'm going down
i'm going down again
let's go down to the ocean
take my hand
if i could hold the world in my hand
if i could tell the world
you didn't call me
don't call me again
we/you are the light
you are so mean
don't tell me what i am
don't tell me what i need
OH, it goes on and on. It's unending, really. I'll write them down next time, because it started to get funny. every single person had a 4 minute time limit and every single person played for at least 8 minutes. it was unbelievable. so hollywood. vamping endlessly on themes like (i'm serious), "I NEED WINONA RYYYYYYYYYDER!" if anything, this has been good in teaching me how NOT to write a song.

...but i feel angry, because i'm still at a blank. i know what NOT to do, but i can't seem to get myself to do what i know i need to. i think i realized last night that maybe i am lying to myself about something. maybe there are Balrogs so far down that i have forgotten them. but is it worth mining them? must i go into my deepest places to pull pain out, just for some notion of what i think my art ought to be? maybe i'm really a Salieri when i want to be a Mozart and there's nothing i can do about it.

oh, bullocks.


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Thursday, March 07, 2002 : 2:15 PM     0 Comments  


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