this dream, this dream. this dream i had last night is haunting me. woke up with so much Possibility in my head.
hard to describe most of it but i remember something about a road trip, and visiting Laketown with my mom and sister. i kept saying "but that's a town from The Hobbit!" and they kept saying "whatever, adriana, ya freak." so i go to my bedroom and there's a miniature version of that evil squid thing from the lake outside the Mines of Moria near my bed, and i spend what feels like a half an hour trying to kill it. it's disgusting, and i feel really awful that i'm killing it but i know if i don't it will bite me, and this fluffy cat that happens to be there keeps getting in my way. the thing starts to be shaped like a lobster and i pull one of its claws off and there's lobster meat everywhere. so i finally throw it out into the woods.
stuff happens that i don't remember, and then Al Larson is telling me that they're closing the "office" and we need to go through the belongings to get rid of them. he points to my bookshelves and says he was planning on giving the books to charity. i look and realize these are MY books, and i am mortified. i tell him to please not take them, as they are very important to me. i take a closer look and realize they are all books about theatre and broadway, and that i have multiple copies. i decide that i can get rid of a lot of them. i want to get rid of a lot of them. i want to lighten my load. they aren't books i need anymore.
Al says something to the effect that if i can stay around here (Laketown?) if i end up marrying Kari (my co-worker from Unky's). i'm thinking, "i am already married, i don't need to marry Kari." and then it dawns on me: my job is over, and i'm in a small town that i don't have any attachments to (seemed to me we were in Canada), and basically i am free. free to do anything i wish, and move anywhere that i want. i can barely breathe, i am so excited with the idea of change. "i don't have to stay here," i think, "i can go anywhere in the world, and be anyone i want to be." it was overwhelming.
i woke up realizing i am not Trapped, and felt a deep sense that i was getting an inner sign to open my eyes to the limitless Potential around me. where will i go, and what will i do? i hardly even have a breath of an idea.
Once again, thank God for our dreams. Apr 22 2002, 10:57 pm Mom, from the archives | 04.11.05 - 10:45 am